


Equivalent Exchange

by AkemiAsh



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Al is still in the armor, Al/Winry, Alchemist!Andrew, Alchemist!Neil, Automail Allison (Both Legs), Automail Kevin (Hand), Corporal!Seth, Doctor!Aaron, F/F, F/M, General!Wymack, Homunculi!Andrew, Investigations!Nicky, Lieutenant!Dan, M/M, Major Character Undeath, Major character death - Freeform, Mechanic!Renee, Mild Sexual Content, Neil and Edward are friends, Quite a bit of angst, Seth is alive (For now), State Alchemist!Kevin, State Alchemist!Matt, State Alchemist!Neil (Later chapters), The Twins don't know about each other (At All), Vulgar Edward Language, happy ending (promise), lotta cursing, mute!Neil, renison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-08-07 23:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16417892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkemiAsh/pseuds/AkemiAsh
Summary: Neil Josten has lost everything that had ever mattered to him, but he wasn't going to lose this. If Alchemy was the only way to get it back, then he would risk anything.Edward didn't believe in much, but the rule of equivalent exchange ruled his life. So what would he have to give for this?Andrew didn't feel. Andrew didn't care. Andrew wasn't human. So why did this stupid red-head with a death wish and eyes that looked at him like he was more than a monster make him want to runaway. Yet, Andrew wasn't a runner. And he wouldn't run from this.Roy had more to think about than a short, blond, loudmouth. He had a coup to finish planning, his people to worry about, everything to consider. He just never considered love. He didn't think it was ever an option. But was it worth it?





	1. Human Transmutation

Desperation had a bitter taste to it, but it wasn’t anything Neil Josten wasn’t used to.

Despite that, he forced calm into his movements. Despair, devastation, and depression weren’t going to accomplish anything, and he had to believe that this would work. There was no other choice. Neil would rather die than leave things as they were.

He’d spent six days collecting what he needed.

The physical body, while composed of a complex system of bones, muscles, organs, nerves, and blood vessels, followed standard natural laws and patterns that when brought to the basics amount to a collection of elements found on the periodic table. It has been stated that, broken down to its basest components, the average adult human body is comprised of Water (35 L), Carbon (20 kg), Ammonia (4 L), Lime (1.5 kg), Phosphorous (800 g), Salt (250 g), Saltpeter (100 g), Sulfur (80 g), Fluorine (7.5 g), Iron (5 g), Silicon (3 g) and fifteen traces of other elements.

Or was it Oxygen, 43kg - Carbon, 16kg - Hydrogen, 7kg - Nitrogen, 1.8kg - Calcium, 1kg - Phosphorus, 0.78kg - Potassium, 0.14kg - Sulfur, 0.14kg - Sodium, 0.10kg - Chlorine, 0.095kg - and Magnesium, 0.019kg. Fuck, what did it matter. He’d found more than he needed and stole anything else.

Maybe it was the desperation talking. Maybe it was the fact that Andrew wasn’t there to talk him out of the stupid idea. Then again, if Andrew were here, Neil wouldn’t need to do this in the first place…fuck, Andrew.

Stop.

Don’t think about it. Focus.

The chalk was gritty in his hands, his nails digging into the piece he was using to outline the array he’d spent the last four months researching.

He didn’t have Andrew’s memory, but he’d traced over this damn array so many times, he hardly had to look at the reference pages he’d gathered around him. He worked from the inside out, making the array just the right size, making every stroke of the chalk as precise as he could manage.

When his hands started to shake, he would stop. Breathe. Don’t think about it.

Don’t think beyond what he needed to do.

Neil has heard all of the rumors. The taboo nature of what he wanted to accomplish. The cost. The danger in it. He kept himself from looking at the corner of the room where his sacrifice lay, blood covering that familiar face. A once strong, imposing body now emaciated and gaunt, thin nearly to the bones. His father had refused to eat for the past two months, wanted to take away any chance Neil had to make things right again. Wanted to take away Neil’s ‘sacrifice’ by dying before Neil could accomplish this.

Neil had knocked him out, keeping him on an IV drip, keeping his body alive, his soul alive.

Equivalent Exchange.

Nathan Wesninski had taken away the only thing Neil had ever truly loved, and Neil would use Nathan to get it back.

But first he needed to finish this, he needed to calm down and get everything right. This couldn’t go wrong. He had one chance.

These breaks were many, but far between. The array too complex and intricate to be hurried, or misdrawn. Neil had to use every ounce of energy he had to make sure he didn’t make a mistake. Any mistake could cost him everything.

Mathematical calculations weren’t hard for Neil, his natural aptitude for it had made this whole process a little easier, but he wasn’t a genius. When drawing the array, he could get things wrong, mark things differently, put too much distance between symbols, or even put each symbol in the wrong point. He was no Edward Elric, but the same determination was there.

Fuck. He was shaking again.

Stop.

Calm down. Don’t think.

He and Andrew had met Ed before. He remembered that. He also wondered if Edward remembered it too. Probably not.

Neil had been in Amestris for only a few days, and the damn train had to be hijacked just as he was making his way back to Aerugo with Andrew. The Fullmetal Alchemist had been there. Had basically saved the day, despite the fact that it had been Andrew who’d taken out half of the hijacker’s single handedly. Neil at his back, reassuring those scared passengers who’d been gathered into the storage area by the hijakers.

When The Fullmetal Alchemist and the giant suit of armor that worked with him had finally started fighting back, Andrew had thrown punches left and right. Brass Knuckles covering his fists, four small arrays on each knuckle. Neil still had those damn knuckle guards, kept them even now.

When Edward had finally made it to the hostages, he found Andrew and Neil tying up the assholes with rope Neil had alchemized from the cables of the train’s overhead compartments.

They’d introduced themselves, Ed’s smile wide and thankful, almost admiring as he glanced down at Andrew’s Brass Knuckles, until Andrew hid them away in black armbands coving his forearms.

When questioned about it. Andrew had remained quiet, impassive and unreachable, so Neil had stepped in. He knew Andrew wouldn’t mind. It wasn’t like they were State Alchemists and Neil and Andrew had both heard the rumors about The Fullmetal Alchemist. The Alchemist of the People. Despite being a State Alchemist, a Dog of the Military, Ed had a knack for snubbing the Brass whenever he could to whoever would listen, and Andrew had listened.

Neil had explained Andrew’s arrays. The first knuckle was for Thunder. A shock with every punch if Andrew activated it upon contact, and Andrew was a master at split-second activation by now. The second knuckle was force. Not gravity, but the opposite, when activated, it would push a strong blast of kinetic energy through the contact point, pushing the opponent away without fail. The third knuckle was one Neil had crafted himself for Andrew’s use, one he’d learned from his father’s people. One hit mid chest would reverse the flow of blood in the body, causing an overload in the heart. Neil hadn’t explained that one to Ed though. And last, but not least, on the forth knuckle was Andrew’s strongest weapon. The air array Andrew had spent nearly four years crafting. Upon activation it sent a sharp controlled spike of air like a knife, or a stake.

If the rest of the military enforcement officers hadn’t gotten to the train at that point, Neil had no doubt that Edward Elric would have kept him and Andrew on that train talking Alchemy for hours. As it was though, Ed had been taken away by a blond woman with hard eyes and an itchy trigger finger, and the second he was gone, Andrew had spoken for the first time.

“The Fullmetal Alchemist has performed human transmutation before. Interesting.”

And that was all he’d say about it.

Neil had never pushed.

Now he wished he’d had.

Stop.

Calm down. Don’t think.

He was almost done, just a bit more and he’d be finished with the array. He’d finally bring back what had been taken.

Neil closed his eyes as he knelt at the edge of the circle. He’d dragged his father to the other side, laid him where he’d make contact with the array, but made sure the blood wouldn’t mar any of the chalk marks.

A deep breath.

Andrew.

Breathe out.

Neil’s hands came up, the energy of the transmutation coming up from his gut as he pictured Andrew’s form in his mind. His will, what he wanted this array to do, Andrew’s image and name, all of it was held firmly in his mind.

Deep breath.

Breathe out.

His palms met the chalk and the world exploded in red and purple light. Neil’s closed eyelids flashed with the colors but he held onto the images in his mind, his will, what he wanted. This would work. It had too. There was no other option.

“Hello.”

Neil’s eyes opened to whiteness.

All around him was pure white, yet a being stood before him. Fuzzy black at the edges, human shaped, but pure white from within. The only defining feature on the human silhouette was the grinning teeth. Neil had to swallow back the panic, yet he remained silent.

He looked beside him and saw the form of his father. So, the sacrifice had made it here then. Wherever ‘here’ was.

“I am called by many names. I am the World. I am the Universe. I am God. I am Truth. I am All. I am One. And I am also, you.”

A sound from behind him made Neil whirl around. There was a door behind him, a great big iron thing, and as it cracked open, darkness stared back. Until an eye flew open. Neil wanted to scream, but he was stuck in place. Rooted and mute with shock and fear.

“You have dared to knock on the door. Now the door is open.”

Tendrils of black reached out for him and Neil reeled back. He spared a glance at his father and saw the man get pulled into the gate, but as Neil turned to run, he was caught by the small hands. He wanted to scream, he opened his mouth to, but nothing would come out. Instead, he gasped.

“That’s it, child. This is what you wanted, isn’t it.”

Neil choked on his fear. Andrew. Fuck, this wasn’t what he wanted at all. He wanted Andrew.

_Andrew!_

“I will show you the Truth.”


	2. We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward Elric makes an entrance. Neil makes decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been posting a lot of things on tumblr lately. If you wanna read some aus or send me some ask prompts you'll find me under 'ashrelfury'. 
> 
> Come check me out :)

_Alchemy._

_The science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However, it is not an all-powerful art. It is impossible to create something out of nothing, if one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be given. This is the law of equivalent exchange, the basis of all Alchemy._

_In accordance to this law, this is a taboo among Alchemists. Human Transmutation is strictly forbidden._

_For what could equal the value of a human soul?_

Neil was getting so damn sick of reading about alchemical rules and finding nothing.

There was always a limit to information, always a barrier he couldn’t break through in the end, because the military controlled it. Even his five or so months in Xing didn’t leave him with much to show for it, though he had a very complex understanding of Chi, or better known as ‘The Dragon’s Pulse’.

Alkahestry was interesting, and for a few moments, he actually believed it would hold some sort of key to getting Andrew’s soul from beyond the Gate.

False hope.

Despite Alkahestrists being capable of higher levels of medical transmutation than Amestrian Alchemy, there was no method of seeking out souls who have already passed beyond the Gate. He’d hit a brick wall in Xingese Alkahestry, and found himself back in Amestris.

Learning about the Philosopher Stone was merely coincidental.

He’d been in Liore for a few months, following rumors of a man who could bring the dead back to life, and he’d been there when Edward and Alphonse Elric had torn the holy man from his pedestal and disproved all of the religious faith.

Another brick wall. It was time to move on.

He wasn’t fast enough though.

He came face to face with the Elric brother’s again at the train station.

“Oh hey! I know you!”

“Brother, wait!”

Neil heard their voices, but he didn’t stop.

“Wait! Hang on! You’re the kid with the cool arrays right! N-Neil? Neil!”

Ed’s voice came again, and Neil faltered. That little hitch in his step was enough for the short blond Alchemist to catch up.

“That’s right! Neil!”

Neil turned, only to see the Fullmetal Alchemist barreling towards him at full speed.

“Brother!”

Neil opened his mouth to yell, and stopped, closing it again just as Ed ran passed him. He watched the blond go by, confusion on his face as Ed skid to a stop and made his way back at a slower jog. The clunking sound of a large suit of armor came from Neil’s left and he looked over to see Alphonse.

“Neil! Hey! I wanted to talk to you, it’s been nearly a full two years since the last time we’ve seen you. Where’s Andrew? I wanted to ask about that array on his… Neil?”

He couldn’t answer. Couldn’t speak, couldn’t communicate unless…

Neill took a breath, and lifted his hands.

‘Hello, Ed’ Neil signed.

Ed’s face twisted in confusion, and just as fast, suspicion.

“Brother.” Al spoke, having finally caught up and sidled beside Ed, looking at Neil. “I think he is mute.” With careful metal hands, Alphonse pulled out a small notebook and pencil from Ed’s coat pocket, handing the two to Neil without another word.

Neil smiled tightly, opening to a clear page without trying to go through any of the pages already filled with coded writing. He didn’t have enough time to crack the codes there anyways, despite the fact that he was sure they would have more information on the Philosopher Stone than he did.

 _‘I am mute. Andrew is gone. I’m afraid I committed the same mistakes you two have in the past.’_ Neil didn’t really have a reason to lie at this point. His words would make it clear that, though Ed and Al could detain him for committing the ultimate taboo, Neil had knowledge of their sins too. _Equivalent exchange._ Neil inwardly smiled at his ironic thought.

When he passed the notebook back and waited for the brothers to read, he thought about the Andrew’s Knuckles in his pocket. He thought about the mass of… something that had been left when Neil had attempted to bring him back. The thought about the vial of Andrew’s blood he still had tucked against his chest on a string for when he would try it again. He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the brother’s reactions until Edward had an automail fist around his collar, and his back was pressed against a brick wall.

“How do you know?! What did you do?! Neil!” Ed raged, voice low but harsh.

“Brother, don’t.” Alphonse tried, his own hands holding onto the arm that Ed had cocked back to punch Neil in the face.

Neil’s hands rose again, and he started signing rapidly.

‘Andrew. I would give anything. I would do anything. He is all I have left, you should know that feeling, you should understand that pain. I would do it again, I would do it a million times. There is no price too high.’ Neil was kind of glad that neither of the brother’s understood sign language, because he was sure all of the things he was attempting to say wouldn’t get very good reactions from either of them.

Ed growled low in his throat and finally released Neil, shoving the notebook and pencil back into his hands.

“Explain.”

Neil sighed, and made the decision to try.

Ed had more knowledge than he did. They’d both seen the Gate, they both have the knowledge, but Ed has had years of this search, and Neil was only just starting out. It didn’t matter what it took, Neil would pay the price, and if that price was telling these two brothers the truth, so be it.

So Neil wrote.

 _‘My father killed Andrew. I sacrificed my father in return and tried to bring Andrew back. It didn’t work. I lost my voice. I’ve been looking for a way to-‘_ Neil paused. He knew, almost instinctively, that if he were to tell Edward and Alphonse that he was going to try again, they wouldn’t help him. They would tell him it was a hopeless endeavor, a fool’s wish. So what to say instead? _‘I’ve been looking for a way to get my voice back.’_

He wasn’t expecting anything from his admission.

He didn’t ever expect anything from anyone.

And he definitely wasn’t expecting Edward Elric to say what he had said right after reading Neil’s stilted explanation.

With hard, determined gold eyes, Edward looked at Neil and took a deep breath. “Come with us. I’ll sponsor your examination. Become a State Alchemist.”

Well…

Why not?

\--

The Bare-Knuckle Alchemist.

Andrew would laugh if he’d seen the codename Neil had garnered.

Without his voice, Neil knew that the chances of him actually becoming a State Alchemist were low at best. Soldiers had to be able to communicate, had to be able to take orders and give them should the situation dictate it. So he’d known going in that his exam had to be spectacular if he wanted to pass the practical part at all.

With that in mind, he’d spent the whole train ride with the Elric brothers deep in thought and contemplating what would be best to present and what would be better off hidden.

He had, much like Edward, mastered the art of Alchemy without an array. But it wasn’t his favorite way to fight, unlike the eldest Elric brother who had a habit of transmuting mid-battle in a bid for weapons, and in the end that was what mattered.

While in Xing, he had picked up on their martial arts as a way of feeling closer to Andrew, who enjoyed hand-to-hand fighting more than anyone Neil had ever met before. He’d been the one to teach Neil most of what he knew, and in Xing, Neil had picked up the style change quickly, beating his teacher every 2 out of 5 fights.

He’d taken to using Andrew’s Knuckles, and so that was what he decided to use.

Presented with nothing but an open space and surrounded by military personnel, Neil stood there and waited for a signal to begin. He didn’t get one.

“Do you need a bit of chalk, or paint or something?” One of the uniforms asked kindly, though he was the only one who looked kindly. Everyone else in the pit was giving him bored and disdainful expressions, and Neil couldn’t really see the other personnel up in the balconies. Still, he shook his head to the kind man and turned his back on them, deciding to start without a signal.

Neil had clapped his hands, and used a mix of Amestrian Alchemy and Xingese Alkakestry to create eight stone pillars at random points throughout the room. His little display had garnered whispers, but he ignored it and focused. The whispers were mainly coming from the surprised soldiers behind him anyways.

Pulling the Knuckles from his pocket, he slipped them on and took a deep breath.

It would be the first time he tried this little experiment. It would be the first time he activated any of the array’s since Andrew’s death and he wasn’t sure how it would interact with his knew knowledge. With more understanding of the mathematical elements and physics to each array, would they be more powerful, or would it ultimately fail since he was not Andrew with his eidetic memory.

With the Knuckles in place, he reached for every array, each of them feeling more and more like Andrew’s distinctive Alchemy and Neil wanted to cry.

Alkahestry, unlike Amestrian Alchemy, had the potential to strike at a distance from the body, mainly because of Alkahestry’s innate connection to the earth and its natural forces. The projection of such arrays had been the hardest part of learning the art. It would have taken anyone else years to learn, but Neil had been desperate and had nothing else to do, and he also had the knowledge ‘gifted’ to him by the Gate. Endless days of training and studying and fighting for some mild chance of seeing Andrew again had resulted in a proficiency with a completely different discipline of Alchemy that Neil had gotten into the habit of incorporating in nearly everything he did.

This would be no exception.

When he moved, he moved fast.

The first two stone pillars were taken down at a distance, with the wind array that had been of Andrew’s own making, both fists shot out at an angle, and as he activated the array, the sharp sound of breaking rocks echoed in the exam area making the whispers grow in volume as well. The next two had been with a shock of lighting so strong it broke the rock in seconds, especially since Neil had only activated the array upon contact with the obstacle in question, now it wasn’t just whispers. Some people were yelling out words Neil couldn’t understand, but it didn’t matter. He continued.

The next two were taken out with the kinetic blasts that made Neil’s punches seem far more powerful than they really were, something akin to the Armstrong’s level of strength, and Neil could hear the man exclaim loudly in delight. Neil hoped never to meet the man again, he hadn’t liked being bear-hugged as soon as Edward had introduced them. The last two wouldn’t work as they should. There was no blood to reverse, no liquid to work with which the array on the weapon’s third knuckle be activated, so Neil improvised.

A clap and then a touch and the pillars crumbled in seconds, not like breaking… but like disintegrating. Something never before seen by alchemists. It caused a hush to fall over the crowd that had once been so loud before.

It was only afterwards that Edward had come up to him and asked what he’d done to the last two pillars, but Neil wasn’t willing to tell the blond.

Alchemy worked in three stages. From construction, to deconstruction, and then to reconstruction. Every alchemist knows that to create, something must first be destroyed, but they are all always so focused on the ‘reconstruction’ part of the equation that they forget what the first two really mean. Andrew had been the one to figure out that you could stop the alchemical reaction in the middle.

Neil would hold that little secret close for now.

Collecting his uniform and his new rank as Major along with the infamous silver pocket watch, Neil made his way to the office of his new Commanding Officer.

General Wymack worked in Central, which was lucky because it was were the best libraries in Amestris were located, and with enough wiggle room, he’d be able to do all the research he wanted to. Too bad for him, that wasn’t how things worked out.


	3. Team Wymack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... yeah apparently I'm continuing this. Huh. Well, Neil meets Team Wymack and next chapter, we get a look at where Andrew is and whats going on with him. Look forward to it :) 
> 
> I'm on tumblr now, posting aus and answering Ask Prompts from anyone who wants to see me writing anything specific. You'll find me at 'ashrelfury'. Come check me out :)

Neil was expecting this, he’d known he’d find Kevin Day in the Military. He just wasn’t expecting how the fight of the other man would affect him.

He knew who Lt. Colonel Kevin Day was, everyone who’d ever even visited Central knows who Kevin Day is. Son of the Sub-Zero Alchemist, Brigadier General Kayleigh Day. It was just too bad she didn’t live long enough to pass on any of her alchemical knowledge to her only son. Maybe if Kevin had been some kind of prodigy like Edward Elric, he wouldn’t have ended up in General Moriyama’s care.

No one knows the full story of what happened that night in the Moriyama house hold, all anyone really knew was that the Moriyama mansion caught fire one day, resulting in the deaths of Riko Moriyama, Tetsuji Moriyama, and Kengo Moriyama, whole Kevin Day lost a considerable part of his left arm.

What not even Kevin knew though, was that Neil had been there that night. Neil had been nine, Kevin had been eleven, and the alchemical prodigy his father was attempting to buy from the Moriyamas was ten. The night Neil killed Kengo Moriyama, was also the same night Kevin lost his hand. The same night he met Andrew Doe. In fact, he’d been the catalyst for all of the disaster that night, but he’d accomplished his goal in the end. He’d saved Andrew. And in return, Andrew had spent the next twelve years saving him.

Coming face-to-face with Kevin now was… painful. Especially alone, without Andrew by his side, everything felt painful. It wasn’t even that Neil was afraid of being recognized. Not only had it been many years ago, but Neil had stopped wearing glasses and coloring his heir the day he took Andrew and ran.

He’d been unable to hind the wince when he noticed Kevin’s automail hand, which got him a sharp glare from three different people, and a dismissive sneer from Kevin himself. Neil couldn’t really explain that his reaction was more out of guilt than disgust, not that he would have anyways. He just kept silent and still, standing at attention by the door of General Wymack’s meeting room, surrounded by the rest of the General’s team, and waiting for introductions to begin.

Predictably, it was General Wymack who kicked things off.

“Listen up you hooligans, this is the newest addition to our little team. Neil Josten, The Bare-Knuckle Alchemist. Major Josten, there are the main personal you’ll be interacting with on a regular basis.” The General turned away from Neil and looked to one of the other soldiers scattered around the room. “Colonel.”

The rank was barked out gruffly, causing Neil to jump a bit, but no one else really reacted other than a woman around 5’6 stepping away from the rest of the group. She was maybe a few years older than Neil, but her posture was perfect as she came to stand beside Neil, facing the General with a sharp salute.

The General turned back to Neil. “Major Josten, this is Colonel Danielle Wilds. She’s the Unit Commander and if you value your job, the only one you’ll be reporting to regularly.” He focused back on the woman. “Wilds, he’s your responsibility now. Good fucking luck.” And with that, the General stood from behind his desk and walked away, leaving Neil in a room with six people who were all staring at him with various expressions.

Neil only really recognized two of the six people in the room. One was Kevin, but the second was Jeremy Knox, also known as the Tidal Wave Alchemist.

About four years ago, Neil and Andrew had taken a keen interest on a new State Alchemist, codenamed Tidal Wave, who had taken to publishing his alchemical research; something normally unheard of with any alchemist, much less so when the research covers something formally unheard of: Liquid Manipulation alchemy.

It was all back before Neil managed to get his hands on his own father’s blood alchemy. The combination of Knox’s findings, and his father’s research had finally allowed Neil to create the array on Andrew’s Knuckles.

If he thought seeing Kevin was painful, seeing Knox nearly crippled him.

The ache in his chest nearly had him doubling over, it was sharp and dark, and his mind flashed with memories of Andrew. The absence of his blond partner by his side always took him by surprise, even though it had been almost a year. Even now he found himself looking around for the silent shadow of his partner. When he didn’t find it, his throat closed up around the fresh wave of guilt.

“Josten. It’s nice to meet you. As the General told you, I’m Colonel Wilds.” The woman beside him seemed to ignore whatever was going on with him and Neil was sort of careful for that. Shaking off the despair, he turned to look at her. She gave him a smile and a nod before gesturing over to the others. “This is Lt. Colonel Kevin Day, Major Jeremy Knox, First Lt. Allison Reynolds, Warrant Officer Matthew Boyd, and our Mechanics and Communication Specialist Renee Walker.”

As she introduced them all, they either nodded or smile. Neil noticed that Knox was the only other alchemist on the team.

His attention was caught on Renee though, lingering there as he took her in. She had not title and she was the only one wearing civilian clothes, her hair was pale white with rainbow colored trips.

She wasn’t military, that much was obvious, so why was she a member of Wilds’ Unit? Hell, why was she even here?

His eyes narrowed when she smiled back, but he stood there and waited as he moved forward to offer her hand. Despite his misgivings, he took her hand. “I’m Kevin and Allison’s automail mechanic. No, I’m not a member of the military, but I’ve had my share of basic training, I assure you.”

Her smile was sweet, but there was a sharp edge to her that Neil couldn’t ignore. A threat of danger that seemed to remind him of Andrew.

Stop.

He had to stop, breathe.

Fuck, fuck, fuck Andrew.

Andrew.

Andrew. Andrew…

Neil grit his teeth, his eyes shut tight against the well of tears as Renee’s hand squeezed his own kindly.

“You’re Andrew’s Neil. Aren’t you?”

Neil’s hand spasmed in Renee’s hold, and his eyes flew open as he searched her face, because that hadn’t been Amestiran. She’d spoken Xingese.

He couldn’t answer. Fuck, he opened his mouth to ask her how she knew Andrew, but nothing came out.

His voice…

“It’s okay. Breathe.” Her voice was soothing, her touch careful on his arm now as her hand kept hold of his. “Breathe Neil.” But it wasn’t a hand at the nape of his neck. It wasn’t a forehead pressed against his own. It wasn’t a harsh, barked out ‘Yes or now?’.

Fuck, he was losing it.

“Major Josten?”

The bark of his title snapped him out of his own mind. He looked up and found the Colonel instead of Renee. Hard brown eyes pierced into his own and he swallowed through the lump in his throat. “Major Josten, are you okay?”

‘I’m fine.’ He wanted to say it, he opened his mouth again, but… nothing…

His hands came up and he signed it instead. He knew by the confusion on her face that she didn’t understand sign language. Double fuck.

“He said he’s fine.” Renee’s voice caught his attention and when Neil looked over, he found all of the other’s standing behind her. Everyone looking on with a mix of worry and confusion.

“He’s mute. He doesn’t speak.” Jeremy pointed out unhelpfully, though he didn’t sound so sure of that himself.

When everyone looked from Jeremy to Neil looking for confirmation, he gave them one in the form of a nod.

From there, all hell broke loose.

“What!”

Everyone’s attention snapped to Kevin who’d yelled out so loud at least two of the other soldiers jumped along with Neil this time. The look on his face was a mix of disbelief and anger, but Neil knew exactly why.

Since the day he lost his arm, Kevin had been studying his mother’s alchemy in an attempt to become a state alchemist like his mother, yet no matter how many times he took the practical, he never passed. Not with Edward Elric to compete with. After all, it was the Fullmetal Alchemist who was known for an automail arm.

Neil could only guess how Kevin felt. Being mute is a much worse disability than having automail limbs.

“That’s-” Kevin growled out but stopped before he started to scream. He shoved a worried Jeremy away from him forcefully before glaring death at Neil, who only stared back passively.

A moment passed, and then Kevin snarled viciously before rounding on his heels and storming out of the meeting room.

“Well. That went well.” First Lt. Reynolds stated sarcastically.

“Well… if you say so.” Warrant Officer Boyd snorted.

Neil sighed.

His journey with the military just started and its already off on the wrong foot. He needed to find Edward, if there was no new news on the Philosopher stone, he’d consider just resigning.


End file.
